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Embrace the Weird

A few days ago my friend turned 27 and I'm 25 so I'm always teasing her about being really old and she randomly blurts out I hope I look like this when I'm in my thirties and I give her the eye because as usual she's way too concerned about her body but it gets me to thinking and I realize I don't want to be the same person when I'm that age. I want to change inside and out. Just today I was talking to a few co-workers and I was telling them how I've enjoyed growing into who I am and why would I want off a ride so awesome.


Don't get me wrong I have had really dark periods in my life. I went through my sad self hate phase. I had a boy crazy phase, a rebellious phase. When I was 5 I wanted to be a teacher. When I started High School I wanted to be a doctor/lawyer. After school I just wanted to settle down in a good job and start a family. As a young adult I wanted to work on my own I wanted to be a writer and now I love nothing better than making making music. I an dealing with the fact that I have to perform but yeah I'm not looking forward to that part so much but life's experiences bring out so much of you that you never knew was there and I'm loving where I am right now. In life I think the singular thing (religion aside) that makes you happy is yourself and time should definitely be devoted to figuring out who that is.


I had another gig issue today I swear I probably need a new crew and maybe a manager it's hell doing everything yourself. Being an independent artist is a high stress job. Why I do this is uncertain but don't worry I think I love it hahaha. Another thing happened today - I by the way apparently have really eventful days, and I like stories so - hey someone's playing Avril Lavigne - let me go awesome! sorry I'm focused. A big altercation thing happened today and my friend is saying you shouldn't get involved in other people's business and I'm getting pissed off because I'm that type of person I honestly think I'm a freak my personality contradicts itself. I am really caring but I also have a temper. 


I know I get way too involved when it comes to people but I can't be the one that sees something bad happen to someone and not feel it I'm the person that starts hurting and crying like it happened to me and I hate to see people not care about someone else and so I yell at her and then I feel bad about it but you know I'm that angry emotional person that always tries to do the right thing and I get hell for it but I'm not changing who I am because I don't see a thing wrong with that. I hate saying sorry too so why I keep offending people is also beyond me. I really hope she forgives me though cause I do need to learn to behave. People say the golden rule is do on to others as you would have them do on to you but there is another saying love your neighbor as yourself and I intend to treat people no matter who it is how they ought to be treated. Up until someone injures me or something you know because I'm way too dramatic. What do you guys think, think I need an attitude adjustment - probably!


That's it for this week I promise to get you a video of a live performance soon I was really disappointed today when I couldn't do that but good things come to those who wait :)


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