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Is it possible to chase after something so blindly that when you finally get it, it loses its value? I have accepted the fact that I am a masochist, I love the struggle and I relish the chase, which to me is normal in fact I recommend it. Nothing is wrong with having drive and wanting to accomplish things. I especially like that feeling you get when you finally succeed, nothing beats that. Problem is when you carry that kind of mentality into a relationship its doomed to end badly.

Most relationships end when you stop trying. You stop doing the little things and yes big milestones are important but when you cross them its the little things that make it an adventure. I used to love being spontaneous, making ordinary things epic, the queen of romantic surprises and now I'm always tired and low key. I'm getting old or burnt out or something. Maybe I'm too focused on music and the future, definitely missing out on right now.


I think I'm home sick too. Not being in total control of my time and schedule is a bit frustrating cause I'm a huge slacker so I need downtime once in a while but its the end of the year and I'll be home in a few weeks and hopefully back to my old self, can anyone say recharge. All in all I don't think I'll ever get bored with the things I really care about. Good talk - thanks.


Stay awesome! 


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