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second chances

I'm kind of shy I mean not really but its like this. People who know me know I'm silly and laugh at pretty much anything I have a wee bit of a temper - OK I'm like the hulk - but I'm also honest and kind of crazy and all that jazz. People that don't know me see me as reserved and apparently intimidating. The truth is I'm socially retarded if you make the first move though I'll fall in. I'm actually pretty friendly if you stick with it. But then all that weirdness got compounded by teenage drama.


See when you're a kid you live in fairy land then you get sucked into the real world where people lie and cheat talk behind your back and pretend to be things they're not and then it goes to full blown paranoia. See I don't let people in very often but when I do its because you mean a lot to me but if you ever show as much as a hint of any of those traits that caused me so much emotional trauma as a youth, you're cut off, immediately and usually permanently. 


I know its wrong you don't have to tell me can't paint everyone with the same brush etc. but once you break my trust I'll never trust youaagain I don't give second chances. I know its rough but it has to be done. Sometimes you need to stop relying on someone to stand up for you and learn to stand up for yourself. Still its hard when its someone you never wanted to leave your life. But you know what they say you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. 


Stay awesome!


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